Saturday, February 23, 2013

Saturday Night Dance Party!


This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Running With The Night" - what we all will be doing 30 days from today at the spo-a-rama-lama-ding-dong!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Liar Liar Pants on Fire! (#4) (update)

I thought I would steal this from Jim.

Here are 5 things about me; which one is the lie?

1.  I love chocolate.

2.  I saw a psychologist twice in my life (2 different psychologists in 2 different states).

3.  My IQ is over 130.

4.  My ex-husband was a cross-dresser.

5.  My favorite painter is Renoir.

Place your bets, folks!


1. TRUE - I AM a woman; I need the hormones!

2. TRUE - sorry, RaybeardI attended sessions with a female doctor in Virginia (1989) and another female doctor in Pennsylvania (2002).

3. TRUE - 135 to be exact.

4. TRUE - just 1 of the 928374650 reasons we divorced. is he still doing it?  who the hell knows; I have not spoken to him since July 1991, when our divorce became final.  He liked pantyhose, panties, and slips.

5.  FALSE - it's Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec.  I love his painting.
I saw the linked picture in Chicago; I have seen his work at Yale University, and I will see more of his art in Allentown this spring.  The Philadelphia Museum of Art has several of his works too.  Check out "Moulin Rouge", the 1951 movie with Jose Ferrer and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Ron, Sean, Bob, and Spo all receive lovely parting gifts for guessing correctly!

However, some clarifications: Ron, I did paint-by-numbers as a child.  Sean, I love "Starry Starry Night" and "Sunflowers" by Van Gogh.  Bob, you have GOT to be kidding me! :-b

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Well I Never! (Say Never)

I totally stole this from Jim!

I've never:

Been in either a MFM or FMF 3 way.

Slept with a woman.

Been arrested.

Wanted to do porn. (but I like watching it!)

Paid for sex.

Visited China, Japan, Alaska, or Hawaii.

Or Austria, Germany, and Ireland, for that matter.

Or Bermuda and Aruba too.

Taken a tour of the White House.

Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

Climbed the Washington Monument.

Contacted my ex since our divorce in 1991.

Had a dog as a pet.

Returned to my high school or college for a reunion.

Given birth to a child.

Worn a white wedding dress to either of my marriages.

Tasted couscous, kefir, lamb, stuffed grape leaves, turnips (and never will).

Saturday Night Dance Party!


This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Love Rollercoaster" - ooh ooh ooh ooh!  (TRIVIA - on the charts this week in 1976; I was 3 months away from graduating college!)

PS - Wolfman Jack; such a great voice!  And woofy too! :)

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Mad Libs #4 (Jeep Guy Inspired) - Results

So 5 of my boyfriends decided to participate in this meme, story unseen.

Thanks for playing; pick up your lovely parting gifts on the way out.  There will be another, so watch this space!

First up is Sean - I want to watch your porn.

Next is Jay - I want to eat your puppy.

Next is Raybeard - I want to stroke your bone.

Next is Sean R - I want to dominate your pudding.

Next is David J - I want to go to Lewes.

I want to pump you up! 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Brain Puke XI

Lots o shit swirling around in the toilet bowl that is my brain. Let's capture some of it here.

I need some karma/good vibrations for two friends currently without heat/hot water in their homes.  One is in Boston and the other is in Ohio.  They cannot go to a hotel since they both have pets.

We had 1 inch of snow last night.  Meh.

Baseball season starts in 3 days, for which I am eternally grateful.

There will ALWAYS be yarn for me to knit into works of art.

Beer bread and chocolate cake are currently cooling on my kitchen counter.  (oooooh, alliteration!)

Why does fiber make you fart?

I saw a bunny yesterday in my backyard!  No, it was not the easter bunny.  Nor was it Harvey.

So where is this early spring, mr. groundhog?

I am meeting up with Ron on 3/5 for the Philly Flower Show!

My wind chimes are making pleasant music in response to the breeze.

Didja ever have to something you didn't wanna do?

My SAD got so bad this week I had to pop a few anti-depressants.  Today the sun is out; guess what - no anti-depressant!

Is it just me, or have the h8ers grown in number and volume the last few months?

Beyonce can crawl back under a rock any day now; her 15 minutes are soooooooooooooo over!

Comfort food - tomato soup with elbow macaroni!

So the USPS is going to end Saturday mail delivery in August.  Meh.  No big deal.

Abs and shoulders at the gym today; damn, those weights are not getting any lighter!

And now for something completely different:


Mad Libs #4 (Jeep Guy Inspired)

OK, boyz, since all y'all did so well with the last one, here's another.

Fill in the blanks with your fave words:

present tense verb


I will publish the results in a few days.

Thanks, Sean, for the suggestion!

Saturday Night Dance Party!


This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Never Gonna Give You Up" - nope, no way, no how!  Lots of great dance moves (and woofy men) in this video!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Mad Libs #3 (Pre-Valentine's Day Edition) - Results

So 2 of my boyfriends decided to participate in this meme, story unseen.

Thanks for playing; pick up your lovely parting gifts on the way out.  There will be another (as suggested by Sean), so watch this space!

First up is Sean R

Dear (Laurel):

I woke up this (evening) and my (big toe) blushed at the thought of you. You are not only (runny), but very (crunchy).  Every time I (flap) you, my (arms) become (billowy) and my (ears) begin to (sweat).

I can't wait till (wednesday) night.  I have a (snowy) surprise for you.  It is (windy), (stinky), and (yells) a lot.  I hope you will (sneeze) it.

I will be wearing the (watery) (necktie) you gave me last (saint patrick's day).  I know how much you love to (bend) me in it.

Hugs and Kisses

Your Favorite (cat), (Sean)

Next is Raybeard:

Dear (Anne Marie):

I woke up this (twilight) and my (thumbnail) blushed at the thought of you. You are not only (juicy), but very (camp).  Every time I (blow) you, my (bush) becomes (windy) and my (navel) begins to (sweat).

I can't wait till (the sabbath) night.  I have a (gay) surprise for you.  It is (presidential), (funny), and (inhales) a lot.  I hope you will (dribble) it.

I will be wearing the (snobbish) (brassiere) you gave me last (labour day).  I know how much you love to (shriek) me in it.

Hugs and Kisses

Your Favorite (balloon), (Ray)

OMB, I am peeing myself here!  Raybeard, you take this one hands down!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Liar Liar Pants on Fire! (#3) (update)

I thought I would steal this from jim.

Here are 5 things about me; which one is the lie?

1.  I grocery shop only 2 times per month.

2.  I joined a gym 18 months ago and I am still going 3 times per week.

3.  I drive a 2001 model used car.

4.  I don't like the taste of beer.

5.  I will be watching the Super Bowl tomorrow.

Place your bets, folks!


1.  TRUE - I get paid twice a month, so that's when I shop.  It's not rocket science.

2.  TRUE - I enjoy my 30 minute strength exercises with my trainer.  My trainer motivates me to achieve my goals.

3.  TRUE - I bought a 2001 used hyundai elantra in 2006 (1 owner, 49K miles); it's now at 92K miles and still runs great.  Why yes, I DO keep up with the maintenance schedule!  My previous hyundai was purchased new and ran for 15 years (1991-2006)!

4.  TRUE - my adult beverages of choice are wine, gin, vodka (not necessarily in that order).  Beer shall never touch my lips!  Cosmos and gin-n-tonics always go down easy! (heh heh heh, I said "go down".)  And no rubbish either (with a nod to spo)!

5.  LIE - I am a baseball-only fan and nothing else.  9 days til the start of baseball season (muppet flail)!  But congrats to bawlmer (native pronunciation) anyway.

Janey, Jim, Sean R, Ron, and Tornwordo all receive lovely parting gifts for guessing correctly!

Confidential to Ron - the salivating was for the spouse's benefit, not mine!  He is the beer drinker in the family (he IS german, after all)!

Mad Libs #3 (Pre-Valentine's Day Edition)

OK, boyz, since all y'all did so well with the last one, here's another.

Fill in the blanks with your fave words:
your sweetheart's first name
time of day (e.g., afternoon)
body part
present tense verb
a second body part
a third body part
present tense verb
day of the week
present tense verb
present tense verb
item of clothing
holiday (e.g.,thanksgiving)
present tense verb
          your first name

I will publish the results in a few days.

100 Things About Me (Stolen Meme)

I totally stole this from Sassybear.  And I am not ashamed of that fact either!

1. Are you young at heart, or an old soul?

Young at heart.  ALWAYS.  I don't give a fuck and I will NEVER grow up.

2. What makes someone a best friend?

Someone who (1) listens to you without judgment; (2) loves you as you are, not as they want you to be; (3) respects you as an intelligent person.

3. What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most?

My Oneida stainless tableware service for 12 from 1973.  I still have it and use it every day.

4. Tell me about a movie/song/TV show/play/book that has changed your life.

Books: "It's Always Something" - Gilda Radner; "You Are Special" - Fred Rogers.  Both were gifts that came at particularly hard times in my life.

Song: "Born to be Wild" - Steppenwolf.  FUCK YEAH!

5. Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.

My brains; my weight.

6. Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with?

FUCK NO!  Forward, not backward.

7. What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection?

Emotional and intellectual connections are most important to me.

8. Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title.


9. What holiday do you most look forward to?

The opening day of baseball season!!!!!eleventy!!!!!  And Groundhog Day!

10. How is the relationship between you and your parents?

Does not exist.

11. You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on?

Not on in my house; I don't watch tv.  For me, it's either the radio or music streamed from da internetz.

12. Name a song that never fails to make you happy.

"California Gurls" - Katy Perry; "Believe" - Cher.

13. You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him.

Hell, EVERYONE knows the great Dr. Spo!

14. Have you ever read the "Missed Connections" on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to?

No and no and no.

15. If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?

The Hudson River Valley in NY state.

16. Can money buy happiness?


17. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?

Drink in moderation - wine and liquor, no beer.  Smoked cigaretts in college, but never got hooked.  Tried pot once and gagged.  Everybody needs a vice.

18. Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names.

Hell, I have trust issues as it is.  I don't trust ANYONE until I get to know them.  And even then I am wary.  Past hurts did this to me.

19. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?

The beach; in particular Sea Isle City NJ, where my great aunt owned a beach house.

20. Have you ever spent a night in the hospital?

3 times in my life (tonsil removal, widsom teeth removal, cancer).

21. Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?

Depends on the circumstances.  A large blogger gathering in March has me excited.  But an intimate tete-a-tete is also interesting.

22. Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?

I listen to whatever the fuck I want; I don't need anyone else's approval.  I like anything but (c)rap and religious.

23. Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else?

Starting with my sperm donor, teachers, ex-husband, so-called "friends".  I will NEVER be treated as a doormat by anyone ever again!  And I will NEVER bully someone else; I know how much it hurts.

24. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Pizza.  So many different ways to make it.

25. If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship?

No fucking way!  I would think something was wrong with that person!

26. Do you believe in a god?


27. Of all the social networks in the world, why use Twitter?

I don't.

28. What’s your favorite hashtag to track?

See my answer to number 27.

29. Would you call yourself/your family "middle class?"

I ain't poor and I ain't rich, so I guess so.

30. Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.

Don't have one.  Have not watched tv since 1999.

31. Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial?

Yeah. Fucking rip off!

32. If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you?

If I lived in the city with walkable access to everything, hell yeah!  In the burbs, not so easy to walk; unless I had access to a zipcar or carshare.

33. If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say?

Back to childhood and turn over to the police all the people who bullied me.  I would LOVE to see those fuckers rot in jail!

34. What’s your "quirkiest" habit?

Watching gay male-on-male porn.

35. What is "normal?" Are you normal?

Who the hell knows what "normal' is?  I can only speak for myself.

36. Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer?


37. What is one thing you could never forgive?

The abuse I suffered for a large part of my life.  Those people can go fuck themselves!  See my answer to number 33.

38. Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single?

Be single.

39. Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends?


40. Where do you and your friends go to hang out?

What friends?  If I had any, at their house or a restaurant.

41. Write the first sentence of your obituary.

"She lived her second life on her own terms."

42. What is the best TV theme song ever?

"Gilligan's Island".  Or "Meet the Flintstones".  EVERYONE knows those songs!

43. When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?

As a woman, we were taught to believe you could only be a mommy, an airline stewardess, a waitress, a nurse, a teacher, a secretary, or (if Catholic) a nun.  This WAS the 1960s, after all.

44. When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked?

FUCK YEAH!  Who doesn't?

45. What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Gotta pee, cats want breakfast, gotta go to work to pay the mortgage/buy food/etc.

46. Do you want to have more friends than you have right now?

I would like to have more friends...but my friends don't live near me.  Quelle dommage. :(

47. What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?

Re-electing the President, same-sex marriage being made legal in more states, gun violence.

48. You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job?

FUCK NO!!!!!  I would go volunteer someplace to do some good for others.

49. Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work?


50. What’s the best route to your heart?

Kind eyes, a nice smile, an air of confidence, intelligence.

51. Have you ever met someone through the internet, and then met them in real life?

Sure.  Blogger friends.  Some I have met IRL and some I will meet in March!

52. What is your favorite sport?

Baseball (to watch).

53. What has been troubling you lately? 

My finances.

54. Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven’t gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? If you didn’t go, why not?

I went to an all-girls catholic high school.  I didn't know any boys.

55. What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning?

Both at the same time.

56. Do you know what makes you happy?

Knitting, books, music, baseball, train travel, cats, MST3K, my gay boyfriends.

57. Tell me about the last book you read.

"You Only Rock Once", an autobio of Jerry Blavat (a Philly DJ).  Interesting Philly and music history from the early days of rock and roll.  Jerry is now in his 70s and is STILL going strong.

58. What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?

That I am a beautiful woman.

59. Who was your first crush?

Ringo Starr.

60. Do you believe that there is life on other planets?


61. Predict what your life will look like a year from now.

How the hell can I do that?  I don't know what I am doing in the next HOUR, let alone the next YEAR!
62. Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began.

Spouse placed a personal ad in a free Washington DC paper.  I answered it.  The rest is history.

63. Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?

Philly cheesesteaks & pizza - Olympia

Thai - Pho Thai Nam

Chinese - Minado

Mexican - El Serape

BBQ - Smokehouse Tavern

Indian - Aman's

All of these places are local, no chains (no rubbish).

64. What is something you want to change about your current situation?

Bring in more income.

65. Early bird or night owl?

Early bird. 

66. Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to?

No.  WHY would I want to be reminded of a painful childhood? 

67. Give me an unpopular opinion you have.

I think people should stop having children; we're overloaded with too damn many spoiled spawn now.

68. What was the last song that was stuck in your head?

"The Nothing Song" - Bruno Mars 

69. Where do you live?

I live in Norristown PA; it's a Philly suburb.  It's near King of Prussia, home to the East Coast's largest shopping mall.  Not that I ever go there; you could not PAY me enough to do that!

70. Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?

FUCK NO!  Earn it, dammit!  See my answer to number 67.

71. What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken?

10.5 hours to Columbus OH.  UGH (the car ride, not Columbus).

72. Have you ever taken part in a protest?

In person, no.  Through phone calls, e-mails, petitions - yes.

73. Would you ever use an online dating service?


74. What is your ethnic heritage? 

British, Czech, Austrian.

75. Describe a person that inspires you.

Eleanor Roosevelt - she was born into wealth, but was selfless in her goal to help others.

76. If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? 

As long as I could meet my financial obligations, yeah.

77. Do you believe in luck?

Not sure; karma is a cruel bitch though!

78. Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. 

A co-irker.  I wanted to smash this person's head against the wall numerous times.  It's been 2 months and I am still keeping said person at arm's length; speak only when necessary.

79. Do you want to live until you’re 100?

FUCK YEAH!  I wanna be the first in my family to do it.

80. Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change?

We ALL change over time.  And it's difficult to juggle a relationship during the change.  Hell, I don't know how many times I have changed over the past 20 years!

81. Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them?

Yep; the friendships ended because of it.

82. Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends?


83. Do you practice what you preach?

I try; I am not always successful.

84. If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly?

I am not reckless; I tend to stay grounded in reality.

85. What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence?

Intelligence IS attractive. 

86. Are you hard-headed?


87. Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?


88. When have you felt most alive?

When I am knitting, when the sun is shining and the birds are singing, when the cats purr for attention.

89. Where would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?

The city.

90. Do you often skip breakfast?

No, not a good idea.  Fucks up your body metabolism.

91. How do you know what true love is?

When even imagining your life without him in it hurts too much.

92. Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?

FUCK NO!  Surprise me! 

93. Where is "home" for you?

Home is in my house with my cats and spouse.

94. What song best describes your life right now?

95. Do you want to be perfect?

No.  And I have the common sense to realize that; most people don't.

96. What have you never tried, but would really like to someday?

Traveling in an RV.

97. How do you express your creativity?


98. Describe your neighborhood.

Suburban, quiet yet on a busy street, about 17 miles from Philadelphia, great access to major roads and public transportation.  Single family houses, no kids, mostly cats, a few older people whose kids are grown and moved away.

99. Name something you only liked because it was popular.

Smoking cigarettes in college.  YUCK!

100. Give me the story of your life in six words.

I am alive, I have survived.

Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Fat Bottom Girls" like me think Freddie Mercury is WOOFY!  Think I'll get on my bike and ride!