Mad Libs #2 (Freezing Cold Edition) - Results

So 5 of my boyfriends decided to participate in this meme, story unseen.

I will publish their answers first, then add mine to the bottom of the pile (heh heh heh, I said "bottom").

Thanks for playing; pick up your lovely parting gifts on the way out.  There will be another, so watch this space!

First up is Bob

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (hairy) and (scary). He should have a physique like (Denzel Washington), a profile like (Emma Stone), and the intelligence of a (lioness). He must be polite and must always remember to (trot) my (meadow), to tip his (mountain) and to take my (arm) when crossing the street. He should move (badly), have an (amused) voice, and should always dress (accordingly). I would also like him to be a (scrawny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper (crazy) nothings into my (legs) and hold my (excited) (ocean). I know a (mountain) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is (Bob).

Next is Raybeard

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (huge) and (pinkish). He should have a physique like (Donald Trump), a profile like (Lady Gaga), and the intelligence of a (python). He must be polite and must always remember to (slither) my (foliage), to tip his (importance) and to take my (armpit) when crossing the street. He should move (squeakily), have an (aroused) voice, and should always dress (lustily). I would also like him to be a (shiny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper (miniscule) nothings into my (right nipple) and hold my (erect) (tart). I know a (spittle) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is (Ginger).

Next is Jay in VA

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (long) and (soft). He should have a physique like (Prince Harry), a profile like (Kim Kardashian), and the intelligence of an (ape). He must be polite and must always remember to (drill) my (phone), to tip his (envelope) and to take my (pinkie) when crossing the street. He should move (quietly), have a (purple) voice, and should always dress (loudly). I would also like him to be a (tiny) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper (gigantic) nothings into my (spleen) and hold my (musical) (music). I know a (noise) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is (Harvey).

Next is The Cajun

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (tricky) and (large). He should have a physique like (Barbra Streisand), a profile like (Harry Connick Jr.), and the intelligence of a (pelican). He must be polite and must always remember to (fly) my (swamp), to tip his (lake) and to take my (elbow) when crossing the street. He should move (sorely), have a (sparkle) voice, and should always dress (happily). I would also like him to be a (bend) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper (sorry) nothings into my (little finger) and hold my (pinch) (cake). I know a (frosting) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is (Harvey).

Next is Cubby

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (heavy) and (black). He should have a physique like (Matt Damon), a profile like (Daniel Craig), and the intelligence of a (giant squid). He must be polite and must always remember to (rummage) my (sailboat), to tip his (rudder) and to take my (elbow) when crossing the street. He should move (shockingly), have a (blessed) voice, and should always dress (deftly). I would also like him to be a (warm) dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper (delicious) nothings into my (penis) and hold my (huge) (sausage). I know a (sandwich) is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is (Greg).

Personally, my fave is Cubby's; you can't get much more pee-your-pants funny!  I had to run to the bathroom after typing that one!

Last but not least, my entry:

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very sweet and kind. He should have a physique like brad pitt, a profile like matt damon, and the intelligence of a leopard. He must be polite and must always remember to stand my paper, to tip his ruler and to take my foot when crossing the street. He should move slowly, have a green voice, and should always dress softly. I would also like him to be a loud dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper hard nothings into my head and hold my purple can. I know a book is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is tom.