Brain Puke XXI

 Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

My condolences to Agnes Goldberg DeWoofs; her dear husband William has passed from COVID.  We love you, Agnes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (March 11) to Anne and (March 13) to Duchess Deedles and (March 16) to Second Man!

The snowdrops are blooming in the back yard!

I am in need of a run to the liquor store; I'm outta gin and several other fave tipples.

I sent my taxes off to my preparer on Thursday.

With spring coming, I am beginning to feel energized again.  February kicked my ass hard with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Nothing better than having a purring kitty sitting on your sparkly tits.

I have 2 loads of laundry to do and I can't be arsed to do them.  Since we are at home, not too many clothes are being worn.

I force you to look at my pussies!  Miss Nyla (the purring kitty) napping on a chair next to me.

Miss Oreo looking fat and happy.  She is sitting in a box.

Miss Gigi (the gray & white cat at the window) is still with us and is as bouncy and lively as ever.

I am SO damn sick and tired of COVID.

WHEN are the damn slobs that irritate me the most gonna fucking die?

I have 13 knitting WIPs (work in progress) and no mojo to work on any of them.  The knitting fairies have deserted me for a warm beach somewhere.

I am SO damn sick and tired of RACISTS.

I found a YouTube site "Recollection Road" that documents stores, restaurants, etc. from the 50s & 60s.  The site calls itself "A History Lesson of American Life".  Pretty interesting, as I can remember many of the video subjects.

Who needs television when you have YouTube?

I am SO damn sick and tired of MAGAts.  This is what I want to do to them:

Let's have some fun; replace one word in any movie title with the word "testicles".  Example: GONE WITH THE TESTICLES.  We could also use the word "tits" (THE ODD TITS) or "penis"   (PENIS WARS).  I shamelessly stole this from Joe My God.  Answers in the comments please.

It's 7:25a Saturday morning and the sun is shining.  I may be ambitious enough to bake honey oatmeal bread.  But first...CAWFEE!  PS - bread is now mixing; 3p it will be ready to eat!

2 Truths/1 Lie (Part 4) (UPDATED)

 I will tell you three facts about me and you must guess which one is the lie.  Ready?

(1) We moved into our current home in 2000

(2) The house has a fireplace in the living room

(3) The house has a finished basement

The correct answer is #3.  Only 1/3 of the basement is finished.

A Valentine Meme (Stolen Shamelessly from Dr. Spo)

arteejee is my spouse (for those of you that don't know)

Where you first met: at my condo 

How did you meet: via a personal ad in a washington DC free weekly paper

First date:  a concert in alexandria VA

How many years together: since 1991 

Age difference: I am older by 5 years

Who was interested first: I was

Who is taller: I am

Most obnoxious in-laws:  he never met my "parents"; he's lucky, they would have ripped him to shreds

Who said “I Love you” first:  don't remember

Worst temper:  both of us; my brit head butts up against his german head

Most sensitive:  him

Most annoying habit:  he's noisy

Most forgiving:  him

Loudest:  both of us

Who has the most useless facts:  me

Funniest:  he is

Who wears the pants in the family: I do

Most stubborn:  both of us

Falls asleep first:  he does

Most impatient:  he is

Better driver:  me

Biggest neat freak:  him 

Most social:  me

Least likely to remember to do what the other one asks him to do:  him

Most competitive:  me

Best cook:  him, but I do the baking

Who is the handy-person:  neither of us

2 Truths/1 Lie (Part 3) (UPDATED)

I will tell you three facts about me and you must guess which one is the lie.  Ready?

(1) My home was built in 1941

(2) I got engaged at age 27

(3) My 7 cats have all been rescues

The correct answer is #2.  I got engaged at age 19 to my first boyfriend.  It didn't last.

2 Truths/1 Lie (Part 2) (UPDATED)

I will tell you three facts about me and you must guess which one is the lie.  Ready?

(1) I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher

(2) I have lived in 3 different states: PA, NJ, VA

(3) I have owned 6 cars in my life

The correct answer is #1.  I put dirty dishes in the sink.  Arteejee does a better job at loading the dishwasher.

 

Damn, most of you got it right! 

 

 

2 Truths/1 Lie (Part 1) (UPDATED)

I will tell you three facts about me and you must guess which one is the lie.  Answers on a postcard please.

Ready?

(1) I am allergic to pollen (flowers, grass, trees)

(2) I am the life of the party in a social setting

(3) I need glasses to help me see at a distance when driving

 

The correct answer is #2.  In a social setting, I hang back against the wall and survey the scene until I feel comfortable making conversation.

 

Damn, most of you got it right! 

Brain Puke XX

Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

Let's get some things off the jahoobies, shall we?  Tis Festivus; time for the Airing of Grievances!  Yes, I stole that from Ravager619!

First up, a holiday delight from Mistress Maddie.  She is a sweet treat unto herself, but:

Wonder what's in here?

The home baked sand tart cookies are almost gone; they are so fucking addictive!  Gurl sure can cook!  The stollen will be served on xmess morning with (unspiked) eggnog & coffee.  Maddie gurl, you are too too much!  Love ya!

Next up, from spouse's brother & SIL:

This is as far as my decorating got:

Better than nothing.  And look, no white stuff outside! 

The girls are taking everything in stride:

Miss Gigi loves her (homo depot) cardboard box.  See what I did there, Dave?

Miss Nyla loves her daddy's new chair.

Miss Oreo loves to keep watch over her humans.

Now onto some knitting:

This blankie is for my boss and his wife; a new baby boy is coming in March.

This xmess tree skirt is for Michael.  I offered to knit him a tree skirt for xmess 2019.  This item has 18 triangles; 3 are finished.  Oy!

January 3 can't come soon enough.  Neither can more Mueller subpoenas/indictments!

(Drama) Queen Quentin needs a kick in the ass; so many first world problems he has (bird poop on his car, the mail carrier didn't say "good morning" to him, etc.).  I'd like to see him trade places with a refugee child in a cage in Texas.

To the bitchcunts standing in the aisles of the grocery store yadda yadda-ing this morning, GTFO my way!  Go yadda yadda somewhere else; I got other things to do than listen to you!

Bobdammit, ENOUGH with the fucking cellphones!  Pay the fuck attention to your driving, your shopping, your work, etc.  To whomever invented that POS, FUCK YOU!

Wonder what 2019's gonna bring?

I Stole A Little Xmess Meme...

...from Debra.  And it ain't gonna be pretty.

What do you hate most about Xmess? 

EVERYTHING! 

What is your least favorite piece of Xmess music? 

EVERYTHING, except for the "A Charlie Brown Xmess" soundtrack. 

What traditional Xmess food OTHER THAN FRUITCAKE (too easy) is being sent down the garbage disposal? 

Believe it or don't, I like fruitcake.  One or two small slices and I satiate my desire until next year.  Ham, turkey, green beans & fried onions, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, you name it, OUT IT GOES!  I prefer seafood for "holiday" meals; salmon, shrimp, crabs and some cock-a-tails. 

Which animated TV Xmess special leaves you wanting to rip the wallpaper off the walls? 

A tie: "Frosty the Snowman" and "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town". 

What was your least favorite Xmess gift ever? 

ANYTHING from my sperm & egg donors; those bastards would always buy the exact opposite of what I wanted. 

For whom on your Xmess list is the hardest to shop? 

Since my gift buying is only for spouse and cats, hella easy! 

How would you spend this time of year if you weren't caught up in all the "holiday" madness? 

First, it's a FAKE holiday since there ain't no Jeebus.

Second, I rejoice that the passing winter solstice means the days are getting longer again!

Third, it's easy NOT to get batshit fucking insane when the end of the year comes along.  YOU control your destiny!  YOU control your reactions to outside events!

My job keeps me busy, as does my knitting and reading.  I need nothing more...except for another cock-a-tail or two!

HoHoHo!

2 Truths/1 Lie

Since I have no shame, I stole this from Michael.

I will tell you three facts about me and you must guess which one is the lie.  Answers on a postcard please.

Ready?

(1) I have spent 15 years at my current job. 

(2) I have 2 college degrees, and have never used either of them on a job. 

(3) I have visited all 50 states, Canada, France, Italy, and the UK. 

UPDATE: #3 is the lie.  I have visited 40 states, Canada, France, Italy, and the UK.

Brain Puke XIX

Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

As usual, been knitting things.  Here is a baby cloud pillow for one of my co-workers:

And a shawl for my doctor's receptionist (Miss Nyla's tail included for perspective):

And a scarf for the owner of the nail salon I frequent:

I bought some whimsical items to brighten up my workspace:

My african violet is blooming for the 6th time; I keep her at work:

And Miss Gigi and Miss Oreo are keeping us company this long holiday weekend.

Ask Me Anything - Part 6 (Questions)

Several of my blogger friends (like Mistress Maddie) have all written similar posts - ask me anything.

Well, because I have no shame, and I steal ideas from others, I'mma gonna do it too!

Please feel free to ask me anything ya wanna know.  Of course, I reserve the right to plead the 5th Amendment if the information revealed would be too painful, or would harm another.  Answers will appear in a subsequent post.

So get down on it (with a gin gimlet or a cosmo in hand)!

Brain Puke XVIII

Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

As usual, been knitting things.  Here is a baby blankie for one of my co-workers:

And here is a shawlette for a customer (yes, someone is paying me for this piece; her fave colors are black-n-white):

I received this cutie in the mail this week; it was sent by this cutie: 

Would you believe we are about to get hit with another fucking snowstorm tomorrow?

Roseanne - would somebody PLEASE punch this ignorant whore in her fat mouth AND drop her tv series?

The blue wave is coming, GOPricks...

Don't fuck with the Parkland kids; they mean business as usual IS OVER!

Have You Ever (or Never)...

...looked to the right of this here blog?

Yeah, scroll down a bit.

THERE! What do you see?

Underneath the artwork is a list of fellow bloggers. Intelligent people all, some male, some female, some gay, some str8...all walking the same path as the rest of us.

Have YOU ever checked out any of these links? If not, WHY THE HELL NOT?

One of my newest finds is "My Secret Life", a newly-divorced man on his journey to find himself. 

Then there is "Can We Have a New Witch Ours Melted"; snarky, funny, lusty writings of a woman in TX.

Or check out "The Gods Are Bored", musings from a NJ middle school teacher.

Or "Riding On", a guy and his dogs and his bike living a middle-class life.

Ya know what you WON'T find? Drama queen quentins, negative nancys, debbie downers, constant complainers, total morons. Ain't NO ONE got time for that shit. Unless you're a masochist.

So go ahead...click on a linky-luv...or two...you might find a new friend.

Ask Me Anything - Part 5 (Answers)

Jeffrey Rich - What began your journey to become such a strong advocate for teh geys? this question is the one that required the most thinking.  my late uncle (1930-1968) was gay, but I did not find out that fact until 1986.  it was a verboten subject in my family.  and I didn't find out from my family, but through a friend of my uncle's.  my uncle was never allowed to live his life outside the closet. :(

when I took up knitting as a hobby in 2001, I began to read knitting blogs; several of those blogs were written by gay men.  through those men, I found other gay male blogs (non-knitters).  I started leaving comments on their blogs before I myself had a blog.

I never have had many friends in my life until "my gay boyfriends" came along.  I like hanging with gay men because they see me as an intelligent, fun, confident woman; to them, I am NOT a piece of ass they can fuck and discard like a snotty tissue (yes, I AM looking at YOU, str8 males).  with them I can be myself instead of having to be someone I'm not.  there are no expectations, no demands, no promises.  just FABULOUS FUN!

gay people have enough enemies/h8ers.  it's more fun to be friends/allies!

Blogoratti - Looks like a fun theme, so here goes...Why did you start blogging? I was dared into it by several blogger friends.  I started leaving comments on their blogs, so...

Jimmy - What makes you so irresistible? Like moths to a flame. damned if I know...

Linda deV - Have you lived in philly all your life and what is your feeling about your city. born and bred philadelphian and damn proud of it!  Except for the period 1979-1999, I have lived my life in the city and around the suburbs.  my city is historical and modern and fun and funky and FABULOUS!

Raybeard -Who cuts your toenails? Is it you, RTG - or do you, like me, have to make an appointment every three months for a chiropodist to do it for you at a toe-curling (sorry!) price? RTG and I go to a local nail salon; no appointment necessary, just walk right in!  Cost is $30 each.

jadedj - Nothing deep or pointed, just a curiosity question...is that your house with the rainbow flag over on the right? no, I stole that pix from kelly stern; he blogs at http://www.ramblingalong.com.

Bob Slatten - I have a cold. Would you come to my house and make me soup? No, seriously. I have a cold and I need soup! my poor bob; hope you are feeling better.  I would probably make some chicky noodle soup with fat-free broth, a (shredded) rotisserie chicken, and egg noodles.

The Midnight Magpie - I assume you went to college. Are you doing the profession you went for or something completely different? yes; absolutely not!  I have 2 degrees (A.A.S. in travel/tourism and a B.A. in economics).  I am the office manager for a 7-person manufacturing company.

Ravager619 - What is your favorite adult beverage? (non-alcoholic) fruit-flavored sparking water; (alcoholic) gin gimlet

Jono - Are you old enough to remember Sally Starr, Chief Halftown, Sawdust Sam, and Wee Willie Webber? HELL YEAH!  I'mma 63.  Also doctor shock and dick clark and captain noah.

Anitia Moorecock - has the mistress ever did a lap dance for you yet? I don't think I'm her type...

Deedles - Thanks ever so. I don't know how to get that mental picture out of my head now, so I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it! bwhahahahahaha!

Debra She Who Seeks - Have you always been strongly politicized? no, not until 2016.  I went to my first campaign rally in chicago in 1992 (the clinton/gore years) and I was very excited to vote for barack obama in 2008.  but this dump asstwat lit a fire under my ass!  hillary was robbed!

Her Royal Highness - Who cares about you? TELL US ABOUT YOUR CATS!  all my cats have been rescues.  I rescued my first (sydney) in 1991.  since then, sydney, kelly, steven, and meredith have crossed the rainbow bridge.  nyla, gigi, and oreo are my current companions.

Deedles - How tall are you, cuz your personality screams 7 feet! I would also like to hear more about the cats :) 5'2" (was 5'3" but I shrank in the wash).  see above for the cats.

mistress maddie - Your always so thrilling and amusing. If you could be a amusement ride, what would you be???? And can I be first? a fun house and yes

Dave R - Your vocabulary is simply amazing? The ALL CAPS, the phrasing... did you learn that in grammar school? I went to catholic school for 16 years.  they made me the foul mouth I am today.

Terri - If you had to pick one season, to enjoy year round which would it be? autumn

Anonymous - Any plans for a Bloggerpalooza #3. The last 2 looked like such fun.  no

Thanks for playing along!

Ask Me Anything - Part 5 (Questions)

(PS - blogger is being a nasty bitch with fonts!)

Several of my blogger friends have all written similar posts - ask me anything.

Well, because I have no shame, and I steal ideas from others, and I have several new readers, I'mma gonna do it too!

Feel free to ask me anything ya wanna know.  Of course, I reserve the right to plead the 5th Amendment if the information revealed would be too painful, or would harm another.  Answers will appear in subsequent posts.

So put those thinking caps on and get busy!

Brain Puke XVII

Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

JFC, stop playing the national anthem before the ball game starts!  It's a fucking football/baseball game, not the fucking Fourth of July!

And while you're at it, get rid of "Kat Bless Amerikkka" in the 7th inning stretch of a baseball game too.

INDICT INDICT INDICT!

It just turned wicked cold here; too damn early to be this cold.

Why don't stupid people come with a sign that indicates how stupid they are? 

It's that time of year when my SAD kicks in and if you are not happy and smiling ear to ear people try and force you to be cheerful.  FUCK YOU! 

Baseball season begins on February 14.

So this happened on Wednesday (avert your eyes if you're squeamish):

Gotta give my boyz a little sugar.  And yes, they petted my pussy and it purred!  Good friends + good food + good conversation = priceless!

Next, for the furkid lovers out there:

Miss Oreo keeping Daddy's pants warm!

Misses Gigi and Nyla napping (what, you want them to load the dishwasher?).

Work has been busy.  Been working M-TH with an off day Friday the past couple months.  Gotta use up those vacation days somehow!

No new knitting to show off this time; several items in progress though.

Several stores I have visited recently have the shitty cheap-ass holiday crap out.  TOO FUCKING EARLY!

I am awaiting the arrival of the mince pies (YUM!) at my grocery store; I just picked up spouse's free turkey (and my lasagna) yesterday.  I don't eat turkey.

LOCK UP every damn GOPrick; none of them are any damn good!

Sometimes I hate being an adult; instead of doing house chores,  I'd rawther (a nod to spo) be knitting and eating bonbons.

Brain Puke XVI

Look out blogger friends, I'mma gonna hurl!

First things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!

Yesterday I had the pleasure of joining Mistress Maddie for a boozy chatty gossip-filled lunch.  She, being the generous fabulous marvelous soul she is, brought me presents:

A hand-made bamboo cheese board from P-town and my fave gin distilled in Philly.  THANK YOU MADDIE!  LUNCH WAS FUN AS ALWAYS!  SMOOCH!  One question: why are all your friends named Peter, Dick, or Willie?

Maddie was the first to see this item in person:

Yes, I knitted my own summer tote bag; took 3 weeks using a 100% cotton yarn.  Looks delicious enough to eat, right?  I call it my summer sherbet bag.

More baby sweaters are being made:

One co-worker's wife and one of my gym trainers are having babies later this year; they each received a red sweater.

The crape myrtle is in bloom:

And the cats are doing their thing:

And I felt so butch after putting this little item together:

A hibachi, for when the large charcoal grill is way too much.  This is just right for smaller cook-outs.  Today it will be used for pork chops.

Another Blogger Meme Challenge!

I stole this from Cookie; sue me.

My blog edition of the list of "Ten Things I Just Don't Get":

1 - Donald Dump

2 - Donald Dump's evil spawn

3 - the GOPricks

4 - organized religion

5 -  spam (the food product and the e-mails)

6 - the male of the human species

7 - vegetables

8 - hatred

9 - war

10 - television

So my challenge to the other bloggers are to come up with your own lists and post them on your own blog.