Monday, December 31, 2012

Brain Puke IX (Happy New Year Edition)

Lots o shit swirling around in the toilet bowl that is my brain. Let's capture some of it here.

So Kim "Kash Kow" Kardashian is preggers; who gives a fuck?  Only her mama and her baby daddy, who are now putting their heads together to milk (see what I did there?  milk?) corporations for freebies.  Oh yeah, and she's STILL MARRIED!

So Jessica Simpson is preggers AGAIN; who gives a fuck?  Moooooooooooooo!  She gonna get fat so Weight Watchers can suck her dry again. Oh yeah, and she's STILL NOT MARRIED!

So someone (his father, it seems) claimed the body of Adam Lanza, the CT school shooter.  Dump it in the swamps of FL and let the alligators have at it.  Nobody gives a shit about this piece of shit anyway.

So they fired our useless football coach today.  Good riddance to him and his fucked-up family.

"Here we go over the fiscal cliff, the fiscal cliff, the fiscal cliff, here we go over the fiscal cliff, ay yi yi...(splat)"

I hate our partisan federal/state/local goverments.  I try and vote the asshats out, but other assholes keep voting FOR the asshats!  I can't win! :(

WHY THE FUCK am I even at work today?  There's NOTHING to do!

Tomorrow spouse and I will have pork and sauerkraut (he's german) and xmess pudding and marzipan (I'm british and austrian) for our main meal.

Tonight we will stay home and drink and probably be in bed by 9p.  Oy, such an exciting life we lead!

"Spo-a-rama-lama-ding-dong" in DE in less than 90 days! :)

Baseball season starts in less than 50 days!!!!!  GO PHILLIES!!!!! :)

I just picked up a new follower today (John Gray)!  YAYZ for more boyfriends! :)

Sean and Bob are my 2 biggest referral sites (in that order) - YAYZ! :)

Hey, Torii Hunter: STFU!  NOW!

Hey, Charlie Sheen: STFU!  NOW!


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Let It Whip" - yes please! :)

Sharing the Season (Part 3)

While not as flashy as Mangina's gift, I can challenge my inner Martha Stewart with these prezzies.

Spouse chose well.  Anyone jealous yet? :-b

It's not that I didn't already HAVE these items, but I wanted an extra set of measuring spoons/cups.  And I burned out the motor of a hand mixer years ago (why yes, I WAS using the mixer for its intended purpose; get yer naughty minds outta da guttah!), so this is a replacement.  For most recipes, I will still mix by hand; no electricity needed!

I also received a book 13 years in the making!  Signed by the author too!

Spouse volunteers at the Stoogeum, and the author also is a partner in keeping the museum running.  It's a "then and now" book.  Some good reading for me!

Hope all my boyfriends had a good holiday! :)

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Sharing the Season (Part 2)

From the bestest tv show EVAH!

Spouse and I actually saw these hand-knit sweaters at the MST3K studios in 1993 during a tour of the facility in Eden Prairie, MN.

Hope all my boyfriends have a great day, whatever you choose to do! :)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Sharing the Season

I finally got the giftmas tree decorated today.  I also did laundry and fixed the upstairs toilet and went to the gym.  But that's not why I am here.

I thought I would share some of my tree ornaments with my boyfriends, since all y'all are so damn far away.

First up:

My ceramic yellow submarine; I'mma looking for blue meanies (or redumblicans) to conquer.


Beavis and Butthead.  Because I am 12.  Nyah nyah nyah!


A cousin of mine made this about 50 years ago; she made from an egg shell and added beads and ribbon and the lil angel.


This is a painted crab shell I bought in Baltimore MD last year.  It is the logo of my baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies.  Less than 60 days til baseball season starts!


The first ornament spouse and I bought; it says "Our First Christmas Together, 1991".

Certainly not a traditional tree, by any stretch of the imagination.

I leave you with this image:

I figured sassybear would like this one!


Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Be My Lover" - would you please? :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Winter Vacation (via Jeep Guy)

Sean posts one of these here TMI's every week.  So I'mma gonna post MY answers right here.

1. What is your favorite winter clothing item or outfit? my purple gloves
2. Do you have plans for a winter vacation? When and where? no

3. Do you have a climate preference? I'd like 70 degrees and dry all year round please

4. What do you like to do on your winter vacations? since I don't take one, it's a moot point

5. Do you unpack your suitcase or live out of it? Are there any items you never unpack? unpack if longer than 2 days; no to part 2

6. Essentials for an extra "fun" weekend? Would you take them through airport security? laptop for free porn; I don't fly

Last, Best, Worst or most fun vacation sex. Details. Details, Details. I respectfully take the 5th amendment as the evidence may incriminate me.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Brain Puke VIII

Lots o shit swirling around in the toilet bowl that is my brain.  Let's capture some of it here.

Xmess tree with bow and lights and skirt on sunporch.  No ornaments yet; possibly tomorrow (nope, it didn't happen; tree is still nekkid).


Candles in the window.


I wanna take every fucking gun in this country (except from the police) and melt them down and turn the metal into sculptures!  Fuck that fucking CT asshole shit-for-brains muthafucker! 

Mike Huckabee and Victoria Jackson and Bill Bennett and the Westboro Baptist Church: shut your fucking pie-holes RIGHT FUCKING NOW! 

Pope Benedict: shut your fucking pie-hole RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

I gotta prezzie in the mail today allllll the way from New Zealand!  From my friend and fellow knitter Kiwi James!


The stocking has some Australian and New Zealand chocolate inside...

My company holiday party was this past Wednesday; beer and booze and ribs!  Of course, we had to go back to work afterwards...I hoisted a cosmo in honor of all my boyfriends!

Too much stress and too few hours in the day make me very tense indeed! :(

Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"I Can't Go For That" -I can't go for guns, no no, no can do; "where do you stop, where do you dare me to draw the line?"  YO, GIVE IT UP FOR MAH PHILLY BOYZ!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The (totally made up by Faux Snooze) War on Xmess

Sean posts one of these here TMI's every week.  So I'mma gonna post MY answers right here.

1. Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any? - none; organized religion is for sheeple

2. What is your opinion of seasonal greetings and salutations? - "happy holidays" and "happy new year" works just fine for everyone

3. Holiday music on the radio? - FUCK NO!  UGH!

4. What is your policy for exchanging gifts? - set spending limit for each person (in my case, spouse, sister, niece, nephew-in-law).  pay in cash = no bills after shitmas is over.

5. Gift cards are... - fucking KEWL!

6. Christmas cards/family update letters are... - non-religious cards are fine; update letters should be burned and pissed on!

7. Snow is... - a huge pain in the ass!

8. Have you been a good little boy or girl? - FUCK YEAH!  ALWAYS! :-)


     1. Food - italian pizzelle cookies (licorice flavored ONLY)

     2. Dessert - english xmess pudding

     3. Song - "happy xmas war is over"

     4. Movie - "scrooge" (1951 b/w alastair sim version ONLY)

     5. Tradition - japanese or thai food on xmess day

Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe? Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Clause? Have you done it a santa suit? Did you come down the chimney? Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers? - NO to all of this!  But I'd like to watch one of my boyfriends do Santa!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"In My House" - high class whorehouse!   Certainly NOT my house! :)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Brain Puke VII

Lots o shit swirling around in the toilet bowl that is my brain.  Let's capture some of it here.

My first holiday card was from ron!

Today was a shitclusterfuck at work; my co-irkers would NOT STFU!!

Tonight was chest and back day at the gym; uff da!

My egg donor turns 80 today; meh.

So I went to spouse's holiday party on saturday. OMFB; get this:
  • many of the women were dressed either like whores or hoochie mamas.
  • some of these women were ready to pop out their tops or their bottoms or both.  waaaay too much skin on display.
  • I DID see some cute looking BILFs (boyz I'd like to fuck).
  • someone brought 2 bratleys - one was about 2 and the other was about 6 months. they are the grandkids of the company founder. INAPPROPRIATE!
  • the party opened up with someone singing the national anthem. at a holiday party. REALLY?
  • “santa claus” was introduced to us. REALLY? at an all adult party?
  • “happy birthday” was sung for the company. REALLY? at a holiday party?
  • the band was too fucking LOUD; they gave me a pounding headache.
  • best part of the food - crab-stuffed shrimp. and chicken parm.
  • funniest moment - during bar set-up, someone dropped a tray of glasses. broke every dammed one of them. I cheered.
  • so I got a free drink (gin n tonic), a free glass of wine (merlot), and some free food. I could have done without the free floor show.
I just got $200 back from my mortgage escrow account; can you say holiday shopping time?  I knew you could!

Today, the temperature in the greater Philly are was 68 degrees F.  I wish it would stay that way allllllll winter long!

Last weekend, I put my holiday electric candles in the windows.  I had to replace 6 burned out bulbs; thank dog spouse bought 2 packs of spares!

This weekend it's put up the 4' fake tree time, and hang the SIL-handmade stockings by the fireplace.

I guess I need to take pix of all this, right?

My company's holiday lunch is next wednesday.

There is not enough booze to get me through the next 4 weeks.

Spouse and I will probably have Japanese or Thai food for giftmas day, since we already had indian food for thanksgiving.

WTeverlovinF is with all the plastic crap inflatables on people's lawns?

Isn't it time to put the Valentine's Day candy out in the stores?

"All I want is what I've got coming to me.  All I want is my fair share." - Lucy Van Pelt


The Spo Meme - Catch It!

To honor Dr. Spo, I proudly steal this meme.

(fill in the blank) is jolly good fun! - partying/eating/drinking/conversing with friends

Tea, Wine or Champagne?  wine - ecco domani pinot grigio, or verdi (sparkling italian spumanti), or kendall-jackson merlot

How Left Handed are you?  not; it just sits there, useless, unless I am lifting weights

The loudest piece of clothing I have is...a chartreuse long-sleeve t-shirt

The Best Friend, who is s/he? I don't have one

I'd rather eat rats in Tewkesbury than... eat vegetables

How many of these have you done?

1. Been to an Opera?  never; musical plays, but never opera

2. Read a novel by Dickens?  yes; "great expectations" (horrible rubbish), "a christmas carol" (love)

3. Drank Bourbon?  never (and never will)

4. Been to Key West?  never, but would like to

5. Visited the Stratford Festival of Canada?  never (though I have visited canada)

6. Spiders give you the heebie jeebies? no; the way they spin webs is fascinating!

7. Been to Michigan?  never (one of the 10 states I need to see)

8. Rolled down a grass hill?  yes (as a child)

9. Ate Synder Pretzels?  hell yeah; they ARE made in PA, ya know!

10. Used the word "rubbish" in the last 30 days?  see #2 (heh heh heh, #2)

11. Worn a bow tie?  no, but they sure look fetching on spo!

12. Have a set of Viking Horns?  no, just naturally horny  :-b

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Saturday Night Dance Party!

This is how I am feeling right now.

Dance like no one's watching.

Sing like no one's listening.

"Relax" - are you shitting me?  Who has time to relax?  I DON'T!